13 reasons to be glad you're not a pregnant giraffe in captivity
by Betsy Shaw posted in Pregnancy
April, April, April. You poor thing. Two months out from the day the media first reported your delivery was imminent, and the world is still waiting. Still watching. Still wondering what's taking you so long to have this baby.
And I thought my pregnancies, and the ridiculous comments people made about everything from the size of my butt to the shape of my face, were brutal. You, girl, you have been put through the meat grinder of all crotch watches. And with no consent and zero concern for your privacy or your dignity.
The latest report I saw about your pregnancy confirmed, once again, that labor and delivery is impending. How do they know" Well, apparently "your belly is bulging" and your "baby is "sticking out."
A recent Facebook update reported "Full udders, huge belly, mom ready - we just need the labor process to begin - so we are waiting for that final stage. "
Could you imagine the human version of this status update"
"Wow! Her breasts are so weighted down they are actually resting on the shelf of her enormous belly, and those swollen ankles... mom ready, OB needs to go golfing--let's get this show on the road."
So here are a few reasons I'm happy I'm not a pregnant giraffe in a zoo:
1. Giraffes are pregnant for 15 months on average. Enough said.
2. In captivity, or out, giraffe fathers don't give shoulder massages and seem pretty much disengaged altogether. Look at this tid...
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