by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy

The BabyCenter community has been weighing in on birth plans in a BabyCenter poll, and for each pollster who made a birth plan, there was one who didn't make one. Birth plans can be nice. I'm very respectful of the anticipatory measures expectant parents make in the lead up to their child's birth.
Many women are simultaneously scared and excited about the impending births of their babies. Making a plan makes sense. It's a human impulse to exert control over a situation about which we are uncertain. Making a birth plan enables women to feel just a little in control. It empowers women to decide things.
There is value in birth plans, certainly. But only to a point. Here are some of my birth plan tips:
1. When making a birth plan, have fun. Talk to your partner about the things you want (music) and also the things you don't (in-laws). These conversations can be sweet. I remember planning things with my husband and this process was the very definition of intimate. The memory takes my breath away, a bit.
2. Don't become wedded to your plan.  Otherwise you risk disappointment if things don't go as planned. In making a birth plan allow yourself as much wiggle room as you end up needing. It's fine to change course as the abstract gives way to the concrete. Anticipating pain in the abstract and managing it for real are two very different things. You can have an ideal goal -- but you can change your mind too. You can wish for no visitors, then...