by Laura Falin posted in Parenting

When I decided to breastfeed my babies, I had no idea what to expect. I took a class that went over all the different ways to hold your baby and how to help him latch on. It was helpful and encouraging and if you have access to a breastfeeding class, I recommend taking it.
But they left a few things out. I never felt like an earth goddess nursing my children. I never had these transcendent, beatific moments, looking down on my perfect treasure like a Madonna. Things hurt. They leaked and cracked and sagged and drooped.
I'd do it again, but I feel it's my duty as a fellow mother to share with you the moves they did NOT cover in breastfeeding class, so you can practice if you, too, plan to breastfeed your baby.
1. The Nursing Mom Salute
The Nursing Mom Salute is often performed under the following circumstances: You're at the store. You've just entered the checkout line when your baby begins to make the first muttering noises of a hungry child who wants to eat. But you're almost to the front and you only need five more minutes to pay for your stuff and get out of there. Your boobs don't care. They are ready now. Right now. You subtly slide your right arm across your chest and sort of rest your hand along your shoulder, trying to apply pressure and stop the leakage, or at the very least, hide the two rather large wet spots that are now spreading across the middle of your shirt. Congratulations, my friend -- you have just performed the Nur...