5 mother-cussing comedy songs all parents should hear
by Sara McGinnis posted in Life
If the lines "You've bags under your eyes, You've got boobs to your knees, Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese," crack you up in that it's-funny-because-it's-true kind of way, you're in for a treat.
It's my pleasure to share Helen Austin's "Childbirth Song" with my fellow moms today. Though the video is a little grainy, I'm confident you're going to love it -- especially if your partner is pressuring you to do the 'baby dance' postpartum.
"Go on, push! Push! You can do it!"
Hilarious -- although I can't say I'm in love with the mental picture now stuck in my mind. Yikes.
In case you missed any of the lyrics...
You've bags under your eyes
You've got boobs to your knees
Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit
He still wants sex while you feel like shit
He begs for this favour not long after labour
It's like eating a meal after you've just been sick
And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants
To this I say that they're a bunch of lalalalalalala
You bastard you cocked up it's you got me knocked up
Just cos you want me to have bigger tits
You're pleading, you're pining
Oh please stop your whining
You're not getting sex 'til the kid's 26
You say you want another child, another pregnancy
When you can poo a watermelon I'll agree
I could have been someone if you just hadn't come (along)
If I ha...
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27-04-2024 08:05 - (
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