by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy

It's easy to understand why people say the wrong things after pregnancy loss. It's a horrible, unimaginable thing, and I certainly wouldn't have known what to say to a friend going through it... until I lost my pregnancy. In the several weeks since we had to say a heart-wrenching goodbye to our very-wanted, very-much-loved baby, I've heard a slew of unhelpful, even hurtful comments. Here are 5 of them:
?I can?t imagine what you?re going through.? Nothing makes me feel more alone or freakish about what happened, than when I hear this comment. I understand that most of my friends haven't been here in this brutal, bitter place. But even if you are lucky enough not to have suffered the extreme misfortune of losing a pregnancy or baby, please don?t say this to a mom who has. She?s already feeling totally isolated, lonely, and different from women around her. No need to rub it in.
?Just focus on your living kids.? To a mom who has suffered a painful loss, what she hears when you say this is: ?Just ignore what happened to this baby." I've had countless people share this very advice, and yes, I'll admit that being with my kids is a wonderful balm for my grieving soul. But please understand that I still miss the baby I lost, and will never forget her, no matter how many children I have now or in the future. She deserves a place in my heart and mind until my last breath, and I refuse to feel badly for focusing on the emptiness her l...