A doctor finally asked me the right question no other had before
by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy
Until I suffered a pregnancy loss, I didn't know how sorely lacking in compassion this country's prenatal care system was. In my experience, many doctors have none of it.
The doctor who informed me of the seriousness of our baby?s genetic condition simply said "I'm sorry. I have no guidance for you." Then, a week after our loss, he had his nurse call me: "He couldn't call himself because he's delivering babies." I sunk to the floor and sobbed.
Doctors who saw me after I got pregnant again never once asked how I was doing since the loss. They didn?t address the serious mental issues I was facing, from depression to anxiety. They simply measured my belly, weighed me, took my blood pressure, and monitored my urine. And made the next appointment.
Today I met a new doctor who did something amazing: He acted like he cared about me as a person. ?Let?s get to know each other first,? he suggested. He asked me about where I grew up, about my kids, and then, about my loss.
?What did you name her"? he asked next.
?Cara,? I told him, and immediately began to cry. I cried because I still feel grief-stricken whenever I think of her. I miss her like there?s a hole in my heart. Like a limb is gone. Like part of me died.
I also cried because I was so touched that finally, a doctor asked me a question no other medical professional had. Not one other care provider had taken the time to find out what my daughter?s name is. And I ...
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