by Melissa Willets posted in Parenting

Two weeks after my D&E, my doctor informed me, "You are cleared to have intercourse." I remember looking across the desk at him through dead eyes. "I don't feel like having sex," I said flatly. He smiled and remarked, "You may change your mind."
Except I didn?t.
Then, weeks later, I had a saline sonogram to ensure my uterus looked healthy, in case I wanted to try and get pregnant again. ?Refrain from intercourse for about 5 days,? my doctor advised. Inside I laughed. Oh, I?d been refraining. In fact, I felt like my sex drive died right along with my baby. Right along with that part of me that would ever feel like I deserved happiness again.
Now, six months after losing the baby I'd longed for for years, my husband and I only recently made love. It was quick; it was because I felt like it was time. It wasn?t passionate or special. But we are closer than ever.

Losing a child affects a marriage deeply. There were days I thought it ruined us. That we?d lose our family too. Working through those devastating moments, when I looked at him and truly believed we had nowhere to go from here, slowly revealed a new level of love. I now see a man who stands by me during the darkest times life can serve up. Through hopelessness and despair and a depression so deep that walking across a room felt impossible.
On the other side of all of that is a bond so strong that it survived the longest romantic dry spell our m...