by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting

One of my greatest parenting challenges has been establishing and maintaining friendships that are kid-to-kid and mom-to-mom at the same time. I have not done it especially well, but I continue to learn. I am thinking about those sweet friendships that began in the early days of parenthood and mature over the course of the formative wonder years. I don't know if what I have done is right or wrong; this is just how it's gone for me.
As my children grew from babies into toddlerhood and beyond, their friendships with peers blossomed. My friendships with other mothers grew up and around simple (but profound) things like matchbox cars and piles of tantalizing dirt and broken bricks and a hose. The possibilities for fun seemed as endless as those lovely spring days. I would meet other mothers at cafes on rainy mornings and we would stagger in with baby wraps and car seats with red-faced infants in them. These children would grow up together. And I, as a mother, would grow up too with these other mothers.

I had a friend once who had a son my son just loved. At 2 years old they would walk around holding hands and because this mother and I were on a path to be good friends, we read more into it than we should have. We marveled at their bond. When I cast back now I am touched at our earnestness and at how we wanted to build love connections for us all.
Then one day these children fell out. I noticed first while at a tennis clinic for toddlers. He...