by Chris Cook posted in Life & Home

When my wife was pregnant, I can remember seeing parents let their kids play with their cell phone, iPad or whatever electronic device they had on hand. I remember thinking something along the lines of, ?Wow, what lazy parenting. I will NEVER subdue my child with electronics.? Fifteen months later, if you gave me access to a taser, I?d be lying if I said I wouldn?t at least think about using it.
If only I had written down all the grand declarations I made about parenting before my daughter was born. Looking back, my plan was to apparently raise some sort of freak baby who would never cry, scream or tantrum because of my superior parenting. Freak Baby would have absolutely zero interest in televisions, iPhones or anything breakable, and when it came time for her to date, she would only go out with father-approved men of upstanding character. A couple hundred screaming fits and a broken iPhone screen later and I?ve changed my tune a bit. If I ever get my hands on one of those time machines of the DeLorean or hot tub variety, I?m traveling back in time to give that pre-parenting version of myself a stern, R. Lee Ermey-style talking to.
It?s comical how ignorant I was. I was like that guy who sits in front of his TV every Sunday telling Tom Brady to ?THROW THE BALL TO WELKER? but doesn?t see that Welker is 60 yards downfield in triple coverage. He doesn?t see it because that part of the game isn?t on his tiny television screen, and before my...