by BabyCenter Guest Blogger posted in Parenting

By Helen Farmer
The big difference I?ve noticed between being a first time and second time mum is confidence. I don?t just mean deftly changing a nappy or not being scared when it?s bath time, but confidence to make decisions that I believe are best for my baby and me -- like feeding methods -- without giving a sh*t what other people think.
When I had my eldest daughter, the first month was a blur of gazing lovingly at her, and walking about the house wearing maternity leggings with my boobs out, crying at the pain and sheer difficulty of breastfeeding. Of watching other mums seemingly effortlessly put their baby on their breast without having to stop the conversation, without checking the latch again and again, without stamping their foot in agony for the first few seconds. Without worrying that their baby was getting enough milk. For some background info, I had a breast reduction in 2011 (not that you can tell right now ? it seems you can?t keep a good pair down...), so was always worried about supply if I had children and chose to breastfeed. But I gave it a go.
Sure enough, I didn?t make much milk. Hours of pumping for mere millilitres. I remember going for a weigh-in with Phoebe and being told that she hadn?t gained enough weight, and crying in the car over a curve on a chart, not wanting to "give up" -- encouraged by a well-meaning but misguided midwife to ?just to keep going for a few more weeks." A fe...