by BabyCenter Guest Blogger posted in Parenting

By Alison Jacobson
?You were so young.? That?s what a friend recently said when she saw one of the few pictures I have with my son Connor who died of SIDS. She was right. It was 20 years -- a lifetime -- ago.
I looked at the picture as well. The woman who was staring back at me, a girl, really, was happy and full of excitement like every new mom. Little did this young woman know that within 15 days her world would be changed forever when that beautiful baby in her arms died of a ?disease? that still remains a mystery to researchers.

Grief is difficult for everyone, but for a young person --- a new mom --- who quite often has never even experienced the death of an older relative or friend, it?s devastating. I?ve written before about what to say to a grieving parent but I?ve never thought about what I?d say to myself, that young woman I once was. So here?s my letter to myself 20 years ago before my life completely changed. Dear Alison,
My heart aches for you. I wish I could wrap you in my arms and hold you until you stop crying. From this moment forward everything you so carefully planned for your life will be altered. Even your career path which you had been so certain of will change in ways you never could have imagined.
You?ll cry more tears than it would seem possible to have in one body but once they?re done, grief will be different for you. Death will never affect you the same way again because you will have already s...