by Michelle Stein posted in Parenting

This isn't easy for me to write because I'm publicly declaring what many would consider a weakness. A character flaw. A failure. But here it goes: I've been struggling with it for years -- yet I've only recently sought treatment for depression with anxiety.
It has taken many forms through the years. Call it high-functioning depression because I'm still able to care for my children, perform day-to-day tasks, run marathons and have a successful career. Call it seasonal affective disorder (SAD) because it's 10 times worse during the winter months and, oddly, in the middle of summer. Call it postpartum depression because it worsened after my second child and then again after my third child.
Regardless of the season, how "well" I'm outwardly coping or if it's within a year after having a baby, it's always there just beneath the surface. Lingering. Coming in waves. Better some days, worse others. Nearly gone for a week or two and then dragging me into the depths of existential despair for weeks on end. And no one has even known. Because this is what depression can look like.

As well as this.

And even this.

Most days I might seem like I have everything more than together. (And I wouldn't tell you otherwise.) But I don't.
So did it take so long for me to get diagnosed -- especially with the postpartum depression screenings that are done at both well-child checkups and post-delivery checkups" They say hindsight is 20/20. ...