I've lost friends because of my postpartum depression
by Becky Vieira posted in Life
I?ve lost friends since my son was born. We didn?t grow apart. It?s not something I?m imagining. The relationships are simply no longer there.
Sure, I expected things to change. That I?d have less time to talk or see people as I adjusted to motherhood. But I never thought anyone would exit my life.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened after I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.
I stopped worrying about maintaining friendships and focused on maintaining my will to live. It sounds dramatic ? trust me, I know ? but that?s what happened. I was depressed. Contemplating leaving my husband and newborn child. Thinking about ending my life. Things were dark for me.
I ignored calls and texts. Begged off requests to visit. Which led me to being even more depressed, convinced my friends hated me. Finally I got help. Medication and therapy. Began to see a semblance of my old life once again.
My friends were wonderful. Supportive and understanding. Never pushed.Â
Then I had a relapse and disappeared. Again. I eventually felt stronger and reached out. Reconnected. But it continued to happen. Three, four, now five times.
I wish I could say that I?ve reconnected with all my friends each time. But unfortunately that?s no longer the case. Every time I come up for air I seem to have lost another friend. It breaks my heart. But I understand.
Maintaining a friendship with someone who?s fighting a mental illness isn?t easy. I?m present. Gone. I stop ...
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