I didn't know how scared I'd be: A poem about motherhood
by BabyCenter Guest Blogger posted in Parenting
By Helen Farmer
I didn't know how big I'd get, or that you'd kick so hard,
I didn't know that tiger stripes are like survivor scars.
I didn't know how scared I'd be, how frightened of the pain,
I didn't know I'd pay a million quid to not push you out again.
I didn't know how small you'd be, just like a baby bird,
I didn't know you'd demand so much without a single word.
I'd never heard of cluster feeding, of those hours in The Chair,
Of bleeding boobs, pumping for days, topless and laid bare.
I didn't know that in one day I'd cry from joy and rage,
Or mutter like a lunatic "please just be a stage".
I didn't know how tired I'd be, I though it was a joke,
Or that sleep is like a currency - and I was always broke.
I didn't know my cash would go on milk or tiny shoes,
Or conversation would revolve around the frequency of poos.
I didn't know I'd lose some friends, they'd wonder where I'd been,
Or that I'd somehow make some more, uniting through caffeine.
I didn't know I'd lose myself a bit along the way,
That on the day I became a mum, something truly changed.
I didn't know you'd be my boss, and that the hours were slave labour,
That I'd miss that 9 to 5 and not feeling like a failure.
I didn't know I'd fall in love with the scent of breath and skin,
Or that my biggest fear would be losing everything.
I didn't know the pride I'd feel to see you growing up,
Or it's possible to ruin someone's day with th...
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