by Jamie Reed posted in Parenting

I'll never forget the moment my son was placed on my chest . Not because there was an adorable baby boy in my arms, or because I was realizing a long-held dream of motherhood. Not because of the emotional moment I was sharing with my husband at the birth of our first child. No, I took one look at the baby on my chest and thought "This is the baby I've been carrying""
If I had to sum up my emotional state those first few days after birth it would be complete shock. While so many who visited me in the hospital mentioned how peaceful and calm I seemed ("You can tell motherhood suits you!") I think my body was just on autopilot. It wasn?t until one early morning when I was holding the baby that I broke down in tears and expressed to my husband how I really felt: I didn?t recognize my baby. I didn?t know him like I thought I would.
Who was this tiny stranger in my arms" This was the baby from the ultrasounds" This was the baby who kicked me in the ribs constantly" The baby who I had tried to imagine so many times" He (and it was a HE, for starters) looked nothing like my husband or me. He felt different in my arms than I thought he would. He looked at me with these huge eyes so expectantly and I felt so underwhelmed.
Yes, he was an adorable and sweet baby. Yes, I wanted to make sure he was safe and healthy. But did I feel this strong bonded connection to him immediately" I didn't.
When my nep...