by Charlie Brooks posted in Parenting

In the past couple of weeks, I?ve attended a dance recital where my daughter kinda-sorta showed dancing skills, and baseball games where my son kinda-sorta showed baseball skills. My wife and I gave both kids effusive praise for their efforts. This leads me to wonder: Can you give kids too much praise"
On reflection, I think that?s a stupid question. But it keeps popping up in my head. Ideally, I want my kids to feel confident but not cocky. They should feel like they?re capable of performing at a high level, but also that there?s more to learn.
It's one of those stupid mental chess games you wind up playing against yourself. There are a lot of moments where I feel like I overthink things as a parent, and this is one of them. It?s silly to give or withhold praise as though it?s a strategic reserve. There are two main reasons I?m overthinking: First, society has trained modern parents to overthink everything. Second, I was a smug little punk as a kid, partly because the praise I got went to my head.
Maybe that second part is bad logic. The connection between praise and my over-inflated ego is circumstantial at best. Furthermore, I consider myself pretty successful as an adult, and a lot of that success stems from good self-esteem.
The bottom line is I'm proud of my kids, and they should know that. My daughter did really well on stage in front of a crowd of strangers. My son has shown that he?s coachable and persistent. This will ...