by Becky Vieira posted in Parenting

I grew up in a large family and was the last of my friends to have a baby.  Yet I still had some preconceived notions about what kind of mother I?d be when the time came. Spoiler alert: mostly all went out the window in the first few months of motherhood.
Today, I sit here writing this while wearing the same clothes I had on yesterday. My hair looks like I washed it in oil, but that would mean that it?s been washed. It hasn?t been for days. My son is napping only after he whined himself to sleep.
None of this is not how I pictured it would be. So I?m serving myself an eviction notice from the glass house of my pre-baby days. Below is a list of the things I swore I?d never do or be as a mother. You can take a moment to laugh with me right about now.
 
1. Snot saver: I never understood children with runny noses. Just wipe, it?s pretty simple, right" Wrong. I?d rather wrestle a greased pig. I?ve been known to delay a wipe from time to time in the name of self-preservation.
2. No barefoot babies: Really, I don?t know why I had a thing with shoes. But I just assumed you always put them on your baby when you left the house. Anyone who has attempted to wiggle a tiny child?s impossibly high arch into footwear knows why this is ridiculous.
3. Breastfeeding deadline: I was a reluctant breastfeeder. I assumed (there?s that word again) we?d wean around 12 months at the latest. Here we are at 14 months with no signs of slowing.
4. Slee...