by BabyCenter Guest Blogger posted in Pregnancy

by Thais Nye Derich
"Your life will never be the same after kids.? I heard this at least once while I was pregnant with my first child. There?s always one brave person willing to stick their neck out and speak this cliché. What I didn?t realize was that my life would change the most not because of the child but because of the birth.
You?re fine, your baby is fine, but it?s time, it?s time to get this baby out,? the obstetrician had said, the clipboard resting in her lap and the pen steadied between her fingers.
During my first delivery, I had a cesarean, which meant I didn?t get to hold my baby. I was separated from my husband, child, and family, for hours after giving birth. Unconscious, I had been rolled into a recovery closet where I stayed to rest until I could speak again. A nurse watched over me while she sorted and unpacked boxes. A broom tilted against the wall between the door and upper cabinets. I remember her looking over at my half-closed eyes, and for a brief second, I thought I saw a look of pity. What she might have seen in that moment, but would take me years to discover for myself, was I was traumatized by the birth of my first child. The trauma already visible on my face.
In my drug-induced slumber, I asked the nurse, ?When can I see my baby"?
Once the nurse delivered my baby to me like a wrapped present in a tight hospital swaddle, I never let go of him. I couldn?t stop crying, even with my baby ...