by Maggie Downs posted in Life

It?s a bird. It?s a plane. It?s ? you!
April 28 is National Super Hero Day, a time to celebrate superheroes both real and imaginary. But Batman can fly back to his cave, Spider-Man can crawl back to his web, and Wonder Woman can ... where does Wonder Woman live" I imagine her in a tastefully decorated condo somewhere.
Anyway, all of them can take a hike, because you're totally real, mama, and this is why you rock:

 
? Mind control
?Don?t hit your sister with a hotdog. Do not hit your sister with a hotdog. Put. The. Sausage. Down.? Sound familiar"
In comic books, superheroes tend to use a silent form of mind control to make things happen, but you" You serve up the perfect combination of choice words and some Maxine Waters shade to deliver a what for, bending toddlers to your will. ? Superhuman agility
Superman might be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I?ve seen what you can do on the playground when Timmy takes a tumble from the slide. Don?t even play, Clark Kent. Pack up your tights and head back to wherever you came from. Mama has this under control.
? Force field
Ah, the human child. Never before has anything been so adorable and yet so impossibly filthy. That?s where Supermoms rush in to save the day, with an endless supply of baby wipes, 87 tiny bottles of hand sanitizer, and the ability to find a public restroom on the surface of Mars. Your baby has a force field, and it's called Mama.
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