by Kelly Wilbanks posted in Parenting

I always thought it would be wonderful to have an identical twin. I envisioned late nights, secret languages, and someone I could switch places with like in Parent Trap. I didn't know I had a 30-year wait ahead of me, but I finally got the twin I'd always hoped for.

I remember when Vivianne was born. I'm pretty sure I claimed every feature -- that's my nose, my eyes, my ears...I don't know why it was so important to me then. It hasn't been as important for me to identify myself in Vivianne's two little sisters. But with my first-born I couldn't wait to find out how my genes had fared.
I now see so much of her father in her and so much of her own unique look. She's not a byproduct -- she is her own product. A sweet, beautiful, intelligent girl that's becoming increasingly independent and uniquely herself. It's not all about the genes. Some folks tell me, "Wow, she definitely looks like you," and others say, "Wow, she looks just like her Dad." And more than any other comment we get "Your husband must be tall," after people take a look at my breast-height (Vivi's words) 5-year-old and my 5'3" inch frame.
When I saw pictures side by side I couldn't ignore it. I had let up so much on trying to find myself in my daughter that I didn't see it until Vivianne asked for bangs. Once she had bangs I posted the picture to Facebook and received many confirming comments. It's the intensity of our shared gaze; it...