by Charlie Brooks posted in Parenting

?I?ll die before my sister because I?m older, right"?
Jeez, son. Can?t we talk about something simpler...like puberty"
It?s not easy to get kids to understand death. Trying to explain that everybody has a point where their life just ends makes things tough enough. But once they understand that, it seems to become a fascination. And that can make for some very awkward moments as a parent.
My wife and I set a goal that when we talked about death with the kids, we would emphasize that it was permanent. If they?re playing a video game and Mario falls down a pit, Mario doesn?t die ? he just starts over. Death doesn?t allow you to reset the console.
That groundwork unfortunately paid off last year when the kids lost both their great-grandfather and their grandmother. We had tears and sadness, but we also had an honest discussion of feelings because we didn?t need to spend time on the death talk. They already understood the gravity of the situation. But now it?s become a point of fascination, and the talk about death is commonplace. In a way, this is good. Discussion of one of life?s eternal constants and great mysteries is both necessary and important. But it gets a bit much when the kids start talking in hypotheticals about their own deaths.

 
At one point, my son gave me a picture with the words, ?That way, if I die you can look at it an be happy even though you miss me.? On the one hand, that is a mind-blowingly mature un...