by Tara Shafer posted in Pregnancy

When a woman experiences pregnancy after losing a baby, one of the first questions that comes to mind is  when to announce this pregnancy.
One BabyCenter community member wrote:
?I, on the other hand, do not want to announce AT ALL during the pregnancy. Obviously that's not going to work, at some point I'll be showing and people will notice, but if I could get away with not saying anything to anyone until after I've delivered and baby is here safe and sound and ready to go home, I would do that.?
This question is little-discussed in the general pregnancy community because it's a very complicated thing. When I became pregnant again following the stillbirth of my son, I had the strong impulse to tell as few people as I could. The thought of ?untelling? once more felt nothing less than traumatic. Also, it felt jinxy. There was that. I wanted nothing more than to hide.
This is a common response to pregnancy after loss.
Here are 5 ways to handle a pregnancy after loss when you don?t want to tell folks -- but you do want this baby with every fiber of your being.

Find one or two people in whom to confide. Note that while your partner may necessarily be brought into the loop, he or she may be so close to the pregnancy and so full of love for you that their objectivity may be impacted. They may feel similarly to you. See whether you can find a friend who will hold and guard your secret -- a gleaming hope for a good outcome.
Take solace in the ...