by Laura Falin posted in Parenting

This New York Tines article discussing children in Switzerland who beat each other up on the playground while their parents look on and chat with each other has me wondering about when to let kids solve their own disagreements and when to jump in. The gist of the article is that kids need to be exposed to conflict if we want them to have any hope of  thriving in our real, conflict-ridden world.
I don't know if it's the winter weather that forces everyone inside a lot, or what is going on, but it seems we have had a lot of conflict around here lately. Arguments with friends, fights with each other at home, even some very minor physical altercations at school: It all has me questioning when I should intervene and when I should let my kids sort these things out on their own. I mostly have no idea.

I've broken up my two boys' wrestling matches before-- because a 15-year old and a 10-year old seem wildly mismatched-- only to have them groan and accuse me of ruining their fun. I've jumped in to help my kids resolve problems with their siblings, only to discover I don't know what happened and I'm getting four completely different stories about who was at fault. And should I even be the one mediating these things"
I don't think letting kids work everything out on their own is always successful. Over the last few years, we're finally becoming sensitive to bullying and watching for those children in the margins, and that's important. The lo...