So what if parenting really doesn't matter"
by Maggie Downs posted in Life
I remember precisely when it happened: Ten weeks into being a mother.
My new moms support group met once a week every week, and we had been meeting this way since our children were born.
We all had boys, and all those boys were generally the same length (taller than a bowling pin), the same shape (a squishy eggplant), and the same weight (an adult Maltese). They also had the same needs and displayed the same cues.
But ten weeks along, my group had gathered again, and I realized our boys were changing.
We were still doing the same things, raising these boys in similar ways. But the boys were changing despite our efforts.
I remember thinking it wasn?t fair as I compared my son with the other little guys. (Like, ?We?re all doing the same stuff! How come mine isn?t sleeping in five-hour intervals"?) Some of the boys grew taller than the others, some got stockier. Mine developed a big head before the rest of his body caught up with it. As my group continued -- we still meet now, three years later -- our boys hit milestones at different times. They have varied strengths and weaknesses, and they go through phases. Their personalities are so different.
It?s almost like it didn?t have anything to do with us as mothers at all.
I felt slightly vindicated and more than a little relieved to read this article from Slate, ?Parenting doesn?t matter.?
?Twenty years ago, a panic over parenting swept across the media when developmental psychologis...
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