by Whitney Barthel posted in Parenting

Okay, I feel like I need to add a little disclaimer here. I have never actually tried acid, but I have seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas...so I think I have a good idea of what it might be like. All that being said, sometimes having a conversation with my 5-year-old son Frankie is much like being on a bad drug trip.

It?s not uncommon for me to wake up with Frankie in my face saying something totally insane like, ?Mom, I farted on Dan. I squeezed my butt...and I farted.?

Or, like this summer when his imaginative little mind ran crazy as I made salmon for supper. As I skinned the fish Frankie very seriously asked me, ?Mom, is that the baby, mom, or dad fish"?
I knew whatever answer I chose was going to be upsetting, so I picked what I thought would upset him the least. I responded, ?It?s the daddy fish. We only eat daddy animals.? He was content with that answer. And, I must say, fish sticks are now his favorite food. And while most of Frankie?s strange ideas and statements are obviously a result of being a 5-year-old boy, some of the things he says are borderline terrifying.

This Sunday in church I genuinely tried to get the boys to sit quietly during the sermon. However, I was once a church-attending 5-year-old. I know how boring it can be when you have no idea what is going on. So, sometimes, I am a terrible mother and Christian and I will let the boys talk to me quietly when I notice they are getting antsy.
Usually I don?...