by BabyCenter Guest Blogger posted in Parenting

By Sarah Jones

When I learned I was pregnant with my daughter a few thoughts ran through my head at lightning speed. The first was "I hope it?s a girl." This was followed immediately by "Oh my God I hope I don?t have postpartum depression again."
That first wish came true. Second one" Not so much.
I told myself this time would be different. I wasn?t scared to talk about it anymore and had no problem with letting other people know exactly how I felt throughout my pregnancy. I never felt like some kind of earth goddess harnessing the key to the future in my womb. I felt fat, uncomfortable and nauseous and probably went a little overboard in sharing how I was most likely going to go crazy for a few weeks after I had her. I made sure to get connected with a psychiatrist well before my due date. I started back on Zoloft about five weeks before I gave birth and had prescriptions in hand for anxiety medication ready to be filled as soon as that baby exited my body.
I remember feeling so much calmer in the hospital after having her than I did after my son. I enjoyed the alone time I got with her and even enjoyed breastfeeding for 24 hours before the cracked nipples came back to town.

The first few days home from the hospital weren?t too bad. I was able to remember that what I was feeling was normal and temporary. I thought I really might have beaten it. Maybe I actually wouldn?t fall apart and might actua...