by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy

One of my longtime favorite quotes is attributed to Groucho Marx: ?I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.? This one-liner always made me laugh until recently, when I did become a member of a club I never wanted to know even existed. It?s a club I wish, fervently, that I didn?t belong to. It?s called the loss club, and if you?ve lost a pregnancy or a baby, you know what I?m talking about. If you haven?t, consider yourself lucky.
When I lost our fourth baby late in pregnancy, it was as if my loss club membership card was overnighted to my inbox. Immediately, friends and family members texted, emailed and Facebooked to initiate me, in the form of sharing their own stories of loss. Until the day I became a reluctant loss club member, they?d been silent, cloaked in secrecy. A co-worker. A sister-in-law. Good friends. People I was close to, but whom hadn?t opened up to me to say, ?me too,? before I could say it back.
Suddenly, I was surrounded by fellow loss club members. I mean, surrounded. It?s starting to feel like more people belong, than don?t. People my husband works with. Friends of my mom. Moms of my kids? friends.
Despite its robust membership numbers, the loss club is a funny ?organization.? While it?s comforting to know you aren?t alone, you know your forced-membership status negates any sort of pride in belonging.

The worst thing about receiving your membership card, is what else comes with...