by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting

There is comfort in remembering the dead. There is perhaps no greater tragedy than the loss of a child. Recently, I came across the story of Samuel (?Sam?) Cohn who died at age 14 in a traffic accident.
Sam would have been 25 years old this year.
Since his death, his parents have sought to honor his memory in various ways. For instance, they hike a Vermont mountain he once loved to climb with Sam's childhood friends. This hike provides a concrete way to connect with Samuel -- and to honor his brief life.
Said childhood friend Kevin Cafferky:
?The freshness of Sam?s death isn?t always present ... but the connections endure. They keep going.?
This beautiful gesture got me thinking. In matters of bereavement, we are very often urged to seek ?closure,? a concept which simply does not square with the life work of grieving. I love this hike because it finds joy and connection in absence. In connecting with the nature that Samuel loved, and with the friends and family who were an integral part of his happy life, the family finds the piercing beauty in remembrance of loss.

The processing of loss and integration of grief is primarily the work of the parents. However, loss has profound ripple effects. Friends too wish to remember. Efforts such as those by the Cohns are inclusive and big-hearted.
It is necessary because once one is a parent, one is always a parent. When the unfathomable happens, the work of parenting tips towards remembrance. Thi...