by Tara Shafer posted in Parenting

Last week I set out to write about the mental load of motherhood. Initially, I intended to approach the topic through the lens of the thought-provoking article, "You Should Have Asked," that looks at how much household management is disproportionately borne by women.
The mental load is described as an invisible burden: women (who are trained to multitask) managing most household tasks, from remembering to bring a blue shirt for field day to RSVPing for party Evites to picking up glue sticks for a homework project, with male partners contributing only when directly asked. This burden, even in the best of times, is exhausting.
This post evolved somewhat as my week unfolded. A couple of things happened. I received some unexpected news about one of my children that caused an incredible amount of stress. And then my editor posted a beautiful article she had come across which calls on women to ask for help when they need it. I must now keep my promise to myself not to overly discuss my children online and to respect their privacy. Suffice to say my child is and will be fine, but we did get thrown for a loop that required me to push through the mental load of micro minutiae while managing to not collapse into a heap of macro quivering anxiety.
This mental load becomes unbearable in a sudden crisis or an unexpected turn. Because permission slips remain, and end-of-year first grade author teas do too.
When I received the upsetting new...