When your husband's love language isn't verbal
by Betsy Shaw posted in Life
My husband gave me a compliment the other morning. We were in a tent, looking out at the largest lake in Vermont after a rare and peaceful night of snuggling and not too much mosquito swatting, when he said it. Our 11-year-old daughter was sound asleep in another tent with her best friend, nearby. I was dying for a pee, and trying to get dressed while perched on the edge of the inflatable mattress Ian was still lying on.
I had my back to him and was feeling self conscious as I often do. Far better that he see the naked back of me when I am sitting down than seeing the naked front of me, what with my new 50-something-with-2 kids belly. There's something ridiculously absurd about the idea of trying to suck it in when one is sitting down. Especially when what needs to be sucked-in is no longer tautly attached to your abdominal muscles and more sort of just hanging there like its own separate entity -- a skin sheath. As I fiddled with my bra, trying to turn it right side out before slipping it over my head, I heard my husband's quiet voice, a voice I adore, and a voice -- when I'm fearful and anxious -- I'm ashamed to say I sometimes resent for its softness.
"You have a nice back," he said.
"I do"" I replied, self-consciously adding, "too bad it doesn't always work so well." (I was referring to my penchant for throwing my lower back out of whack.)
Once I had drained the situation of all spontaneous sentimentalit...
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