by Michelle Stein posted in Parenting

I feel like I'm at a crossroads.
See, I have an itch: A desire for "one last baby." (This time it really would be the last one, I swear.)
At the same time -- now that my youngest is 2 -- it's nice not to have to worry about the logistics of carrying around/breastfeeding/ staying up all night with a baby. Not to mention, this is the longest I've ever gone between pregnancies. Do I really want to start all over at this point"

No more babies would mean I could continue to focus my energy on the three children I already have. I could further explore and expand my career as a freelance writer.
And there are things I definitely want to do for myself, too -- like run the Boston Marathon. (I recently ran a qualifying time, but I still need to shave off about 4 minutes in order to guarantee a spot at the starting line.) Having another kid would mean putting this goal on hold for a couple of more years. Heck, I could easily sell off all of the baby clothes, blankets, gear, etc. It would feel marvelous, actually, because I hate clutter and holding on to things that are of no use to me anymore.

But then I see a new mom out with her irresistibly squishy newborn, and it's almost too much for my ovaries to bear.

And that extra orange Easter basket -- the one that sat empty a couple of weeks ago. Ugh. What if"
What about the brand new baby bouncer and play mat I bought this past fall" They're there, waiting in my closet, &...