by Becky Vieira posted in Parenting

Of all the advice and warnings I received as a new mom -- both invited and unsolicited -- one always confused me. "Don?t be defined by motherhood," people warned. "Continue to be yourself, first and foremost."
There's this trend, especially on social media, where moms are shamed if they're defined by their kids. You have a career! A marriage that needs attention! Hair to be highlighted! It's almost perceived as wrong if a woman allows her role as a mother take over.
Personally, I don?t care how other mothers feed their child. If they use cloth or disposable diapers. Working or stay-at-home moms, we are all amazing. Some want to be defined almost completely by motherhood, others don?t. There are parts of this idea, this not letting motherhood consume you, that I understand. And yet I?m also left scratching my head in confusion as to why it?s such a problem. Here?s how my brain perceives this:
The ?yes, I get it? part: Motherhood is like an IKEA store, it?s easy to get lost. You think you?re heading in one direction and before you know it you?re somewhere else entirely. And fighting with your partner along the way. It sucks you in and consumes you whole in the blink of an eye.

As women, as humans, we're the sum of all our parts. Not just one. Obsessing or focusing on a singular aspect does us a disservice. Not only to ourselves, also to the other people in our lives. If I put all my eggs in the motherhood basket, do ...