10 excuses for why you?re not drinking when you?re pregnant or trying to conceive
If you are between the ages of 22 and 42 and not drinking at a social gathering, people will presume that you are pregnant. And sometimes you might be. Or you might be waiting to find out if you are pregnant. Or trying to conceive. And maybe you don’t feel like sharing your latest reproductive news with everyone around you. As such, I’ve come up with a list of handy excuses you can use should you find yourself ordering a club soda when everyone else is sharing a bottle of something much tastier.
1. You are on antibiotics
How this works: This one is a classic for a reason. The key is to have very specific details about why you are on medication. Do some research and know your symptoms. Good reasons include a UTI (you are probably running to the bathroom anyway), strep throat (be prepared to feign throat pain) or an infected cut on a body part that isn’t easily visible (this one will require a backstory, so it’s only recommended for very creative types). Potential obstacles: If you use this excuse regularly around people you see a lot, your condition will get severe pretty quickly. A UTI can only go so long before you will need to be hospitalized in order to treat your antibiotic-resistant infection. Same with your infected cut. Eventually they will need to amputate.
2. You?re observing lent
How this works: You are giving up drinking for lent. When you give this excuse, you look faithful at best and sanctimonious at worst. No one is going to challe...
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