The woman who ran the bed and breakfast stood in the doorway, unsure if she should let us in. We?d just shown up with our luggage and our one-year-old, without a travel cot. ?You?re not going to be sleeping with her,? she warned. ?She?ll suffocate.?
It wasn?t the first time we?d heard that sleeping with our daughter would kill her, and it wouldn?t be the last. We?ve been sharing our bed with her since the day she was born. Not every night, but certainly when she needs it.
But the practice makes many people uncomfortable, and even the most diligent of parents?who employ all the safety strategies the experts recommend?are warned of its drawbacks. Here are some of the most common things I?ve heard from concerned and nosy bystanders, and what you need to not say to an already well-informed bed-sharing parent: 1. “My baby was put in a crib from day one.”
Honestly, that?s great for you and your baby. I guess my daughter was different than yours. As a newborn, she cried and fed frequently?especially at midnight. And 2 a.m. And 3:15. And 4:45. Her instincts told her to make sure I was close by, and I was happy to meet those needs, even at night.
2. “You must not get a lot of sleep.”

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