25 things to talk about before getting pregnant
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Before my son was born, I researched childbirth constantly. I meditated every morning, did yoga three times a week, asked an osteopath to balance my pelvis and crafted a custom labour playlist with five hours? worth of music. A pile of library books teetered beside my bed, and vitamins and supplements lined the kitchen counter. My obstetrician said my birth plan was one of the most detailed ones she?d ever seen. But during those pre-baby days, my husband and I rarely talked about what our new arrival would mean financially, emotionally, logistically or professionally. Big mistake.
Hours, days and months after my son?s birth, I was crushed by the magnitude of waking up every two or three hours to feed a tiny screaming human. Our plan to alternate my early-morning shift with my husband?s late-night one seemed hilariously naive and, like many new moms, I struggled with agoraphobia and breastfeeding, lack of sleep and self-care. When it comes to having kids, the best time to start the conversation is well before baby arrives, says Joanna Seidel, a family therapist based in Toronto. ?Becoming a parent changes your whole core, physically and emotionally,? says Seidel. She knows that all too well: She is a mother of three children, including a newborn. ?For the first year, you?re simply not the same person,? she says.
Figuring out where you both stand, early and often, can help smooth the ride into parenthood. Here?s a rundown of the big and little things to iron out...
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