Photo: Masterfile
 
?I am the worst person ever. I?m never going to be good enough,? my 11-year-old daughter wailed with tears streaming down her face. I had just stepped into her room to ask her to pick up the clothes that were lying on the floor?something I?ve done countless times before. She normally responds with easygoing humour, so her intense and emotional outburst caught me off guard.
David Walsh, psychologist and author of the book Why Do They Act That Way" A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen, suggests that parents look at it this way: ?Think of a car. During the preteen years, it?s like the gas pedal is to the floor, and the brakes are on back order.?
Between nine and 11 (some kids start earlier and some later), growth hormones begin to take centre stage, while the brain?s executive centre (where emotions are managed) is undergoing major construction, explains Walsh. He recalls asking his son what he was thinking after he was fined for skateboarding down a set of stairs clearly marked ?No Skateboarding.? The answer" He wasn?t thinking at all. In the months leading up to my daughter?s outburst, there had been subtle signs that she?d officially become a tween. She was more aware of her appearance, more concerned about doing well at school, and was eating and sleeping more than usual. Another difference?and a frustrating one for her?was increased forgetfulness and disorganization.
All of those changes are normal, according to...