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Lesson 1: She experiences a bigger life change than you

For most women, early mothering is an all-encompassing experience ? mentally, emotionally and, of course, physically.
Most mothers have a powerful sense of the baby?s dependence. For Sarah Latilia, this was heightened because her baby, Tommi, was colicky and hard to comfort, so she felt like she could never leave him for long. ?Even now I have a four-hour window where I can leave Tommi at home and do something on my own. And that?s if he hasn?t been fussy, has nursed right before I leave, and isn?t upset when I call to check in,? she explains. ?I know that life has changed for Mika too. But at times it feels like everything has changed for me, but not that much has changed for him.? Harris has noticed that it?s easier for him than Naomi to take off his ?parent hat? ? to think and act more or less as he did before he was a parent. ?Mothers don?t seem to feel as free to take time away from the baby,? he says. ?I?m always saying ?Take the time, I can handle things,? but Naomi feels she has this primary responsibility that she can?t neglect.?
Message for dads: You may not understand why she thinks the baby needs to be bathed right now, but go with it. She may be looking ahead to how she?s going to fit in a nap and shower before company arrives. Second, be aware that problem solving is not always what a mom needs. ?When I get overwhelmed, I don?t always want suggestions,? says Marsala Philpot. ?Sometimes...