When I was pregnant, I wrote an essay about becoming a single mom by choice, in which I detailed why I chose to use a sperm donor and have a baby by myself, at the age of 35.
That was nearly two years ago, and I still get emails and Facebook messages from women who?ve managed to track me down. They ask me questions and share their thoughts or stories. I?ve met some amazing friends this way. On Instagram, there?s a whole community of people using the theme #singlemombychoice, as well as women on the journey to single motherhood. Most of them have a pretty good idea what they?re getting into, while others?yeah, not so much.
That’s because parenthood is one of those things where you don?t really have a clue what it?s like until you?re in the muck of it, it?s true. Many times, I?d go on Facebook to vent, and other mom friends would be like, ?umm?yeah, unfortunately, that sounds about right.? I found that things like loneliness, bladder issues, the tedium of it all?this stuff just wasn?t talked about until someone (usually me!) brought it up. Most of my friends are partnered, as well, so that?s another added layer of going into this somewhat blind. In thinking about it, there are a few things I wish I’d known before I became a single mom by choice. (Although to be honest, I?m not sure I would have listened ahead of time?) Here are some of the major ones.
1. It is exhausting. So freaking exhausting. I used to HATE when parents would say this to non-parents. As a grad ...