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There’s a man in my house and he’s not my dad,? an outraged five-year-old Kevin* tells me when I go to visit my friend Tara Jenkin* (who had recently split up with Kevin?s father). I watch as Kevin, grinning maniacally, jumps on Jenkin?s new boyfriend?s back and pulls down his pants. The boyfriend laughs: He?s being a good sport. He keeps saying it?s OK, they?re just playing. But they aren?t playing?or at least Kevin isn?t. It?s clear he?s angry.
1. Accept that dating is hard

?You never know what?s going on in kids? minds,? says psychotherapist Naomi Galloway. ?They may actually genuinely think they?re being replaced. Dating is hard, but with a kid in the picture, it?s much harder.?
How hard is it" First, you have to meet someone. Also, this someone needs to be really OK with you being a parent. Then you have to make all the elements gel?you and the kids and the new love interest. Finally, there?s the potential that the relationship may not work out, and both you and your kids have to say goodbye. Dating for single parents is an extreme act of orchestrating: time, your needs, your dates? needs, and, most of all, the needs of your children. 2. Find a mature partner

?There?s no other time I can think of that you need to be an adult more than when you date as a single parent,? says Ottawa marriage and family therapist Kathryn Guthrie.
Troy Hutchison, 36, from London, Ont., had to be an adult early in life. He became a single dad with full ...