6 things people did (not just said) that made me feel seen after my miscarriage
It?s true what they say?sometimes, there are no words. When I experienced a miscarriage, there was nothing anyone could say to make me feel better. ?I?m so sorry? made me feel like I had to respond with ?It?s okay,? when it wasn?t. ?At least it happened early on” or “you’ll get pregnant again” made me resentful, like they were missing the point entirely?I didn?t want another pregnancy, I wanted the one that had been taken away. I felt lost at sea, adrift in the middle of an awful experience, and words couldn’t double as a lifeline or miscarriage support.
Luckily, there are many people in my life who didn’t rely on words alone. It was their actions, big and small, that actually did help me feel better. If someone in your life has experienced a miscarriage, here are a few things you can do to make them feel seen and understood?as taught to me by my family and friends. Be there in person.
When my mom found out about our miscarriage, she immediately hopped on a flight from Calgary to Toronto. She stayed for the week, helping with our daughter, cooking meals, cleaning, and giving my husband and I time to rest and recover. We would have never asked, but my mom sensed that we needed her, and she was there for us in a way that truly made a difference.
If you aren?t able to make it, send a proxy.
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