Photo: Corbis
When bedtime arrives for seven-year-old Malachi Ferrier, he questions why he can?t stay up as late as his older siblings, refuses to get ready, claims it?s ?not fair,? and sometimes even resorts to hiding or accusing his parents of not loving him.
?Malachi is just more challenging,? says his mom, Janine Ferrier, of Arkona, Ont. She should know?the mom of seven identifies Malachi as one of her two strong-willed children. ?He always wants his way and is very determined?sometimes manipulative?to get it.? He can be disruptive at family meals, argumentative with his parents and siblings, and often responds to requests with ?No,? ?Why"? or ?Can?t you do it"?
These are common traits of strong-willed children, according to Toronto child and family therapist Jennifer Kolari, author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise a Great Kid. They?re also characterized by controlling or demanding behaviour, ?big? feelings or reactions, questioning authority and difficulties sharing. ?Parents of strong-willed kids have a tough job, because they?re torn between wanting to protect their child?s spark and teaching him the skills needed to manage in a world of rules,? says Kolari. This balancing act often leaves them overwhelmed with the task of being ?good? parents, while feeling frustrated and emotionally exhausted from battles with a child who consistently refuses to cooperate. Kolari suggests the following strategies to help create a more harmonious relationship:
1. Trans...