After a recent move, I was looking for a new pediatrician. Two actually: I have two teens, a girl and a boy, and each told me they?d prefer to see a doctor of their own gender. It seemed like a reasonable request, but it didn?t seem to be a common request at the first pediatrician?s office I called?at least judging by the receptionist?s indignation.
?The doctor likes to treat all the children in the family,? she told me. ?And he has just as many patients that are girls as boys.?

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This is how you talk to kids about their private partsI wasn?t casting aspersions. I had called this doctor precisely because he had a good reputation. But in a world of #MeToo and the recent convictions of former USA national gymnastics team doctor and serial child molester, Larry Nassar, empowering my kids at the doctor?s office seemed more important than ever. Respecting their preferences about which doctor they would like to see, especially as they navigated puberty, simply felt like the right first step. So in spite of the receptionist?s protests, that?s what I did. It?s not easy for kids to feel in control in the doctor?s office, especially in the context of what is an imbalance of knowledge and power. So how can we help our kids to feel safe?and to know what to ...