Daycare pickup used to be the best part of my day. When my girls were infants and toddlers, they?d drop everything they were doing at the sight of me and run?or bum scooch?into my arms, eager to be whisked away. Now that they?re five and three, I still get those hugs, but what follows is an endless power struggle. When I ask them to put on their coats, they start running around in circles, rolling on the carpet or emptying out and organizing the entire contents of their backpacks. On calmer days, they give long-winded monologues about the drama of their day or drag out personal goodbyes to dozens of friends.
The daycare teachers are sympathetic. They say little kids get a kick out of bossing around their parents, especially moms. But honestly, it?s frustrating. My girls and I have a great relationship?I?m the one they call for when they wake up in the morning or cry to when they get hurt. They want me to read to them, sing lullabies and tuck them into bed. But I?m not naturally assertive, and this extends to my parenting. When it comes to daycare pickups or any other necessary caretaking tasks, they sniff out my weakness and steamroll me. I know I?m not alone. If you ask child psychologists and development experts, children are becoming more dominating than ever. They?re bossy, demanding, insatiable and defiant. Sometimes it seems funny or charming. I look at my girls and think they?re like feisty little honey badgers. They?re leaders, not followers. I see a confidence in...