I’ve spent the last few weeks sifting through egg donor profiles. I am 42 years old, and while I would have loved to marry my soul mate at 27 and give birth by 30, relationships aren?t that simple and neither is fertility.
At 36, I shifted my priorities from dating to procreating. Several IUIs and IVFs later, I became the proud mother of a glorious child, conceived using donor egg and donor sperm. And now, I?m wild/crazy/brave enough to go for my second.
As a single lesbian mother by choice with low ovarian reserve, I am a little outside the box when it comes to family building. As a result, I have raised a few eyebrows, and suffered my fair share of fools.
I spend way too much time deflecting ageism, and I’m not the only one. Judging by my IRL and Facebook community of older moms, it seems that, as women, if we step just a little outside the box by having children at a time society deems too late, everyone and their dog has something to say about it. These comments can be hurtful?and they make you look ignorant. Here are the top eight things to never say to an older mom with a baby.
“Is that your granddaughter"”
If you have to ask, it means you aren?t sure. If you aren?t sure, there?s a chance you are talking to the mother and are going to hurt her (and her child?s) feelings. Just as you should never ask a woman if she?s pregnant, and you shouldn?t ask a transracial family if their kid is adopted, you shouldn?t go around asking sensitive ...