When Parker Kraychy started grade one, his mom, Kristi Kraychy, heard nothing but positive reviews about his behaviour. He was a total angel, said his teacher; he worked hard and listened well. Naturally, Kraychy was pleased?but she could hardly believe it. That?s because Parker was routinely a hot mess at home after school. Angry, yelling meltdowns were an almost-daily occurrence for months.
If this sounds familiar, it?s because it?s a real phenomenon. After a long day at school or daycare, many kids totally lose it when their parent picks them up or when they get home. There?s even a name for it: after-school restraint collapse.
It happens, says Andrea Loewen Nair, the London, Ont.-based counsellor and parenting educator who coined the term, because kids hold it together all day and only release their true emotions when they get to a safe place. Some kids become weepy, while others scream, throw things and become generally unreasonable. Older kids might act rude and disrespectful, hurling insults at you and their siblings. Some children are more susceptible to after-school restraint collapse than others. ?More sensitive and intense kids, and kids struggling with learning and social skills, will be more likely to be affected,? says Vanessa Lapointe, a parenting educator and registered psychologist in Surrey, BC. ?More chill kids can have their days too if it was a particularly challenging day, or they are extra tired or getting sick.? It can last all school year but is mor...