The turning-point conversation about kids happened in Fiji. Kristina McKinnon and her husband, Rob, took a boat cruise to visit the outer islands. Other people?s kids were running around, roughhousing, snorkelling, yelling, a cloud of kid chaos, and Kristina loved it. The next part of the trip was adults only, and she and Rob agreed it had been better with kids. ?We have a lot of love to give,? she thought. ?We can do it.? She was 35. It wasn?t really a late start, considering she?d met her husband at 29, and the next few years had been about launching the marriage and getting professionally settled.
But it took a decade-long obstacle course to reach parenthood. After Fiji, Rob?s dad was diagnosed with dementia. The couple decided to rent out their home in Radium Hot Springs, Alta., and move back to their hometown of Victoria to care for him, building a suite for themselves on top of his ranch house. They started new jobs: Rob as a police officer; Kristina in administration at the University of Victoria. For the next five years, she tried to get pregnant, without success. It was a hard time. In every direction, Kristina saw children; they seemed to be multiplying, clogging streets and grocery store aisles. At 40, Kristina went to a fertility clinic, where the doctor told her, ?You have to get on this right away.? Three rounds of IVF came next?needles and hormones and mood swings. The transfer of each embryo was followed by the agony of waiting two weeks for results. Then th...