Can we please stop asking about ‘good’ babies"
?Is she a good baby"?Â
It was the most frequently asked question during my daughter?s first few months of life?and the one I liked answering the least.Â
By ?good,? I assume those asking were referring to a baby who sleeps through the night, doesn?t fuss much and does what you want her to do, when you want, all (or at least most of) the time.Â
So, in the early months of motherhood, when my baby wasn?t all of these things and I felt way over my head, this question always felt like some kind of test?like if my daughter didn?t meet all of the good criteria, it made her somehow bad (and, by default, it made me as a mom bad, too).
Why ?good? shouldn?t only mean ?easy?
Of course, what people really mean by a good baby is an easy one?a baby whose laid-back temperament allows them to sail contentedly through most situations, days and milestones. Don?t get me wrong, having an easy baby can make life, well, easier. And such babies are, of course, good babies. But it?s the easy-trumps-all mentality that just doesn?t sit well with me. My nine-month-old daughter is easy in many ways?she sleeps from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., loves breastfeeding (it?s the sweetest part of our day) and hands out grins and giggles like they?re Halloween candy?but all of these things came with time and patience. She is also what others amusedly refer to as ?very active.? She wakes up ready to take on the world, eyes darting around for her next adventure (while I force a quick cuddle). Changing her diaper ta...
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