Photo: @jaymelang via Instagram
My son Julian* is good at so many things?spelling, ball hockey and badgering me to give him five more minutes of screen time. But for some reason, he struggles to make strong connections with his peers. Socially, he?s just a bit awkward.
That?s why I was so excited to find out my second baby would be another boy (after the initial disappointment of not having ?one of each? wore off). Rubbing my swollen tummy, I imagined the bond the boys would share, and my heart swelled too.
When I told Julian, then four, that he was going to be a big brother, I played up the role he would soon have. ?He?ll look up to you,? I said, drawing on my childhood feelings about my own older bro. ?He?ll follow you around and beg you to play with him, and you can teach him everything you know.? I could see the wheels turning in his head. Finally, he was thinking. I?ll have some social power. Maybe you can see where this is going"
Shane,* my second, was born in 2013. I knew it would take a few years for him to have the capability of idolizing or even showing interest in his older brother. So I waited?and waited.
It hasn?t happened yet. Shane ignores Julian. He yells at him. God forbid his older brother try to sneak a hug; by the sounds Shane makes, you?d think Julian had poked him with a sharp object.
Their odd sibling dynamic was amusing to us at first, but my feelings soon changed to disappointment. I had no idea this was a thing! Don?t all kids crave the love a...