One day in grade six, Cohen Miller* forgot his homework. He called his mom in a panic from his Calgary elementary school, and she drove it over to him. It took just 10 minutes of her time, but her son still felt bad. ?He never forgot his homework again,? recalls mom of two Rachel Miller*. ?He thinks about the inconvenience to other people over everything.?
Cohen?s conscientiousness differs from his older brother?s more laissez-faire attitude about some of his responsibilities. When it comes to cleaning his room or pitching in with household chores, for example, Tyson* rarely remembers to do it without a reminder, and only with the threat of losing his phone.
In the tug-of-war between parents and children, mom and dad are eager to unload responsibilities, but some kids will push back against them, while others seem to need constant reminding. Navigating this grey zone between dependence and autonomy can be perplexing for parents. We want to nudge kids toward independence, but we?re not quite sure when (or how) to get them to pull more weight. Do we remind them ad nauseam, or do we shut up and hope they put up (and then let them experience the consequence if they forget)"

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