His parents call it ?the Grey Dude,? the dark persona that overtakes their sweet son, Nicholas, telling him hateful things about himself and clouding him in despair. When a depressive episode sets in, everything is filtered through this smog, and the pain becomes so unbearable that he wants to escape this life.
Before the Grey Dude arrived, Suzi and Mark Spelic had a playful, curious kid who did well at his school in Hamilton, Ont., and loved to draw, build models and practise karate. Suzi says Nicholas was born with what she calls ?an engineering brain.? He was smart and inquisitive. ?He noticed everything and always wanted to know how things worked,? she says. Sure, he was sensitive and a little shy?in social situations, he?d wait for other kids to approach him?but he seemed happy. But as Nicholas got older, his busy mind seemed to turn on him. When he was six, he began worrying about things most kids his age were oblivious to?everything from what his classmates would think of him to the possibility that someone could break into the house and kidnap him. Over the next two years, there were more signs of trouble. At birthday parties, he?d shut down and want to leave. When he was upset in class, he?d bang his head against his desk, and at night he?d wet the bed or have night terrors. If he forgot a move during a karate routine, he?d run off the floor and tell his mom he couldn?t do it. ?I?m going to fail. Everybody?s looking at me, and I?m stupid,? he would say. The negativ...